


If you could show me love

by CynicismFollows



Series: My Enemy [1]
Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, One-Shot, Taryn POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CynicismFollows/pseuds/CynicismFollows
Summary: Pre-'The Cruel Prince'. Taryn's POV on how she and Locke got together. Includes Taryn/Locke (obviously) but not a very romantic take on their relationship. Title is from 'My Enemy' by CHVRCHES ft. Matt Berninger.





	If you could show me love

**Author's Note:**

> The way I read it, Taryn was already secretly with Locke before the start of the main story in 'The Cruel Prince'. This is most obvious reading between the lines of what she says and how she reacts to Jude and Locke in chapter 3. We don't really know how or when they got together beyond that, though. This version of events may get totally contradicted in book 2 or 3, but here's my imagining of how it might have gone down.

I’ve always been the least brave of my sisters, but I honestly hadn’t minded that. It was nice, really, to have people around me who would dare to fight back against the the kind of world that would devour you whole. Despite her distain for Faerie, Vivi was always like a streak of wild magic, picking you up from your troubles and taking you far away. She would only be there by her own whim, but came and went with enough frequency that her presence always lingered in the air. Jude was a more constant source of comfort. As twins we did nearly everything together for most of our youth, especially as two mortals in the world of the fae. She was stalwart in the face of the harshness of those we met, and I made sure she didn’t slip into reckless confrontation. We balanced each other.

The problem with brave sisters, though, is that they’ll go out seeking what they want from life, with little thought of danger, or who they’ll leave behind. Vivi had lived her whole life in Faerie with one foot out the door, but as we got older she would go off by herself more and more often. I think it bothered her how we always treated the mortal world as a place to visit, and not our true home. Even when we did spend time together that frustration with Jude and me would bleed through.

What really made me lonely was when Jude started practicing to become a knight. She had always been more engaged with Madoc’s lessons on fighting and strategy than I, who had little natural aptitude with either. But over the past few months it’s not only that she spends her time practicing, but that she’s constantly preoccupied with how she’ll achieve her goal. She’s not really with me, even when we walk side by side.

It’s a still pre-dawn, and I’m staring at the canopy over my bed, thinking about them both. I’m trying to work out what to do, when Vivi leaves or Jude goes into service. Really, what I don’t like is that both of them are busy planning their own lives, without considering how I might fit in with either of them. Neither of them are going to budge, they’re going to forge new paths, each in the world that doesn’t want them. Vivi would like both of us to go to the mortal world with her. Jude wishes we both would stay. But neither of them are going to let her sisters’ choices affect her. I think I would rather stay in Faerie, it is all I really know. But if there was some way we could all be together, I would choose that before any other concern.

There is a clink against my window. I look up in time to see a second pebble hit the glass. When I open the window, I see Locke standing on the grounds beneath me. I’m worried about why he has come, and my first instinct is to call for Jude. I close my mouth though, when he puts a finger to his lips. I can’t see any of his friends around. If he’s here alone… I don’t know how to finish that thought. Why would he come, what does he want?

‘Will you come down?’ he calls up, his voiced pitched low so that the sound will not carry too far. 

I frown, glancing around. ‘Why?’

He doesn’t reply, merely pulling his hands towards himself, to indicate I should come closer. I don’t know what to do, but there is something exciting about this unexpected clandestine encounter. I don’t really want to end it by involving anyone else. It may yet be dangerous, but of the four of our chief tormentors at school, Locke has always been the least awful. He prefers to watch the other three insult us than engage directly, and sometimes I think their cruelty bothers, or at least bores, him. He’s standing patiently beneath my window, and its not like anything too terrible could happen, before I’d have the chance to cry out. Madoc’s temper is fierce,  and Locke surely wouldn’t want to awaken it. I give a short nod, before closing the window and slipping downstairs to the side door.

He meets me there with an outstretched hand and a grin, which falls a bit as I pull back. ‘I’m not here tonight to hurt you, Taryn. I want to talk.’

‘What about?’ I ask warily, still not taking his hand.

‘Well, about you. I‘ve watched you for a long time at school, and I find myself drawn to you.’

This is not what I’m expecting to hear, and I think it shows. ‘I– You– You watch me at _school_?’ Is what ends up coming out.

‘I know that we’re none of us particularly nice to you there. It’s so strange to have mortals raised with us. But it was because you were that I noticed you in the first place. You’re different, Taryn. Almost unique.’

As explanations for years of bullying goes, it might not rate very highly, except that it’s the only such apology I’ve ever received. Still, what really catches me is his last phrase. _Almost_ unique. It’s an allusion to Jude, my twin, who has been raised just as unconventionally as I have. But he didn’t go to Jude. There’s something about _me_ that makes him want to know more. His eyes are light, full of energy. He’s excited to be talking to me, and the whole moment seems charged. I reach across and take his hand, and as he pulls me across the grass towards the tree line, I feel like this is some momentous turning point.

We spend the next few hours talking, until the sky is light and we both need to return to our beds. We agree to meet at the same time tomorrow. I still don’t know exactly what this is all about. There was a frisson, but neither of us broached the topic of what exactly he meant by being ‘drawn to me.’

—————

It is very late the next night, and I wait in the same spot, half thinking he won’t show up. Or he will, and it will be with Nicasia, to laugh at me for the silly romantic fantasies I’m already indulging. He is seeing her, after all. It was ridiculous for me to even think–

‘Hi,’ his voice comes from behind me, and I jump. 

‘Locke! Did you do that on purpose?’

He smiles, and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, distracting me from my shock with an all new surprise. ‘You mortals are much easier to take unawares,’ he says. ‘And I love the way you look when it happens, your eyes wide, your mouth open.’ He taps my bottom lip, and I close it quickly, stepping back.

‘So you just like surprising mortals?’

‘I like surprising you. I’d like to do a lot of things with you.’ There is a pause, and I blush. ‘Come, sit here with me, and you can finish telling me the story about how you first learned to ride.’

Last time we had talked a lot about our lives. He seemed interested in any childhood anecdote about me or my sisters. I’d never had anyone else to tell these stories to. Living as mortals in Faerie, my only friends were my sisters, who remembered these adventures themselves. Also, because he wasn’t part of the family, I could tell Locke how I felt about all sorts of things that I couldn’t say to the others. This time the conversation got more personal, and we strayed into the territory of my private feelings more often.

I again didn’t get to sleep until the sun had already risen, so I was groggy when Vivi woke me up before midday. She’s never slept on a normal faerie schedule, and doesn’t worry that doing things with her in the human world doesn’t match up easily with our sleep patterns. Not that she could know that I got to sleep so late, I suppose.

Vivi wants to go to the mall with Jude and me. Sometimes she goes of by herself, and sometimes she’ll drag us along. There’s never any warning either way. Jude has been more and more sullen about going recently, as she gets further out of sync with the mortal realm. We share long-suffering looks as Vivi chivies us along, but we go without verbal complaint. Still, we’re neither of us the best company, and I think Vivi begins to regret bringing us as we evince little interest in the shops.

‘Oh, come on, wouldn’t you like a churro?’ she asks as I cast an uninterested eye around the food court and Jude sends a death glare at a guy who passes us too closely. 

‘Ugh, honestly I would prefer a proper day’s sleep.’ My words come out nastier than I intended, and even Jude gives me a surprised look. I sigh and paste a smile on. ‘Sorry. I got to bed late. Churros can be my treat. Jude, you keen?’

Jude nods, and they both seem to recover from their shock at my outburst. Still, it’s not a fun outing, and Jude makes it clear that she wants to go home early. Vivi seems willing enough to let us go after the day’s unpleasantness, and she enchants our ragwort steeds so we can return. She stays behind though.

I would like to put my family first, but with sisters as stubborn as Vivi and Jude, I don’t think it’s really possible. You can only ever really put one thing first, and family is never just one person. Vivi and Jude both put their own dreams first, for as much as they care about me, and each other. As they pull me in two different directions, I don’t know what I care about above all else.

There’s no chance for further sleep, by the time we get home it’s already afternoon. Class is boring, and I spend most of it staring abstractedly at Locke, who is flirting with Nicasia. I know that she used to be with Cardan and is now with him, but I don’t really know what happened. Jude and I aren’t privy to that level of gossip. I wonder what the story is, and try to imagine asking Locke. Even after the personal things I’ve told him, I don’t think I’d dare pose the question.

By the time we meet again in the small hours I am totally exhausted. He can tell, and he laughs at me a bit, before telling me to rest my eyes. I lean against him, and before I know it I am asleep. When I wake again the sky is full light, and Locke is combing my hair with his fingers, a strange look upon his face. I am amazed that I felt safe enough with him to relax into sleep. He smiles at me, and assures me he will come earlier next morning, so we’ll still have a few hours of darkness together.

The next night the sky is still purply black when we meet. We sit by the orchards, the smell of faerie fruit thick in the air. For some reason we both speak very softly, our bodies leaning towards each other as we almost whisper. The kiss seems inevitable, as our mouths move closer by inches. At the moment of contact, the spark that had been increasing by degrees bursts into sudden flame, and I am consumed. I don’t know how long it lasts, but when I wrench myself away we’re both gasping for breath. His hand is holding my neck, and he tries to pull my back in, but releases quickly as I draw further back. 

‘You’re with Nicasia,’ I say, and I don’t know if it is a justification or a rebuke. His arms are now resting at my sides, and his gaze is intent on mine.

‘We’re not bound, I’m not more tied to her than to you.’ That has a the feel of faerie obfuscation, half truths intended to hide reality. I don’t say so, though, because I’m not quite sure I want to press the issue. I like spending time with Locke, and I don’t want to give that up. My uncertainty must still show on my face, because he removes his hands from my waist, and offers a half-smile. ‘Nicasia and I are in a complicated place, but I do want to be with you. Would you let me, if I told her that I wanted to be with another?’

I frown slightly. A faithless lover is not what I want, but it may be all I can expect from a faerie. ‘I value loyalty, Locke,’ I say slowly.

His smile blossoms into a full grin. ‘Loyalty,’ he savours the word. ‘That is wonderful. It is a very fine thing you ask for Taryn, and shows great discernment on your part.’ I blush. ‘Do you not think to have loyalty, one must first obtain trust?’

‘Yes?’ My answer comes out as a question. I don’t know what he’s leading to, but my heart is beating faster, and the whole moment seems to thrum with significance. 

‘Then I propose a test. I will break with Nicasia, and you will give yourself wholly to me.’

‘How is that a test?’

He laughs. ’Giving yourself over is not challenge enough for you? You will be mine, which means that you place absolute trust in me. You won’t tell anyone about our arrangement, even your sisters. And if you can keep that promise, you will have demonstrated your ability to be faithful.’

‘My ability, yes, but what about you?’ I feel daring to even venture this slight dissent, but truly, I don’t think that my faithfulness could ever be more in question than his.

‘If you prove your loyalty, then I will offer a token of mine. I will ask Madoc for your hand.’

I gasp. Marriage? It is something I had daydreamed about before, but to have someone offering it here, before me? Someone as desirable and fascinating as Locke? Someone who could keep me in Faerie, make a place to be my own? It is almost beyond my ability to process, but I quickly go over the exact words he has said and commit them to memory. This is an important skill to develop with the fae, and one I have much practice with. _I will ask Madoc for your hand._ Well, there is an obvious loophole there, in that Madoc might refuse, but that seems unlikely. Madoc would welcome more permanent ties to keep Vivi in Faerie. Oh, but of course there’s the trap of literality to be avoided, let’s not get into a problem of severed hands.

‘You’ll propose marriage, if I keep our relationship a secret until you do?’ I confirm.

His eyes flicker over me, and he gives a sharp nod. ‘Yes. If you can keep this a secret you’ll place me ahead of everyone else in your life. That will demonstrate that you deserve to be my bride.’

Part of me wants to bristle at his words, but they feel too true to cavil at. He is a faerie and I am mortal. By marrying me he will be raising my station, and I am in no position to be quibbling on tone. The demand itself actually sends a shiver of excitement through me. If I can take him at his word, all Locke cares about is whether I really want him, whether I would put him first. And isn’t that what love truly is? Putting someone else first?

There is one last thing I must confirm. ‘How long will I have to wait?’

‘You won’t offer to wait indefinitely?’ he smirks. ‘Very well, if you keep your word, I will offer within a season’s turn.’

I nod. ‘Well then. If you break things off you Nicasia, I will submit to your test.’

He pushes me to my back, mouth hovering above mine. ‘Taryn Duarte. I think things are about to get extremely interesting.’

I pull him down into a kiss. Jude will find her own way to stay in Faerie, and Vivi will always be able to walk between worlds. I will still see them, but now I have something that I can anchor myself to, as they do. Someone I can put first, someone who will do the same for me.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that Taryn is not a popular character, which I understand. I don't really want to argue for my perception of her in these notes, hopefully I've conveyed my view of her effectively enough in the story itself. I would just add that this story is set pre-'The Cruel Prince', and doesn't directly address why Taryn does what she does within the novel, merely provides a background explanation. It's also not meant to 'side' with Taryn over Jude, maybe just balance out the scales a bit.


End file.
